### May 31 **Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and not intended to offend anyone.** Oh boy, where do I even begin? May 31 is the day when some of the most ridiculous inventions were brought into this world. I mean, who even comes up with this stuff? Let me tell you about some of the things that were invented on this cursed day. Firstly, we have the "Selfie Toaster". Yes, you heard that right. It's a toaster that burns your selfie onto a slice of bread. Because apparently, having your face on Instagram isn't enough, now you can literally eat yourself for breakfast. How narcissistic can we get? And if that wasn't enough, we also have the "Baby Mop". It's a onesie for babies that has mop-like material attached to the bottom, so as they crawl around, they clean the floor. I guess it's never too early to start teaching kids to be productive members of society, right? Next up, we have the "Hug Me Pillow". A pillow that looks like a pair of arms, because apparently, some people are so lonely that they need to spoon a pillow with fake arms to feel loved. I mean, why bother trying to find an actual human being to hug when you can just cuddle a pillow? And last but not least, my personal favorite - the "Daddle". It's a saddle for dads to wear on their back, so their kids can ride them like a horse. Because nothing says "I love you, dad" like using him as a mode of transportation. And let's not forget about the potential back problems this invention could cause. I could go on and on about the stupid things that were invented on May 31, but I'll spare you the horror. Let's just hope that future inventors use their creativity for something more practical and less ridiculous.