Frequently people when trying to help a project jumping directly into what activities they expect project to do or just plainly how the project is not doing X or Y. Instead focus on communicating what are your expectations. Make sure they align with expectations of the project you are help / advising / member of community. Aligning on these expectations is first step. Define clearly what your expectations are, understand why project's are different and either convince that they should adjust, adjust yourself or decide to part ways. When expectations are aligned and written down, you can actually evaluate if project is making progress toward those. You can relate their actions to these expectations and ask pointed questions what strategy and tactics are used to achieve those. Focus on results not on activities.